Every man has a breaking point but, when you get upgraded to Dad, that breaking point is also leveled up. A mere man can't stand to hear a baby crying all night and will break down almost immediately. But, Dad will cradle the baby, gently rock the baby, maybe even start singing End of the Road until they both stop crying.
The first 3 months are the months that everyone, especially people with no kids, warns us about. The little one will wake up every 3 hours around the clock. I have to admit that I, being the deep sleeper, wasn't awakened at times when the crying commenced but, when it was my turn, my wife, the extremely light sleeper, would gently nudge me awake with the muzzle of her gun.
Besides sleep, there's the constant pooping. We started by using baby wipes to clean the mess and I must say I found it very easy! No problem. But, when I saw how many wipes my wife used to do the job, I had to consider filing for bankruptcy. I say to my wife, "Hon, I don't think we can afford to use that many wipes per poop." Her rebuttal was that she needed that many to make sure his booty was clean and for some reason it lead to how many wipes I would use when I pooped and that she suspects I don't wipe properly and that I have a dirty butt. Then she tells her mother about it? So now my mother in law probably thinks I have a dirty butt all the time. Wtf. But, there is a happy ending (pun intended) to this story. My wife and I now simply carry the little stinker to the sink where we work as a team to clean his butt with some baby soap and warm water. The smell of success.
